When Death Becomes the Teacher: Choosing to Truly Live
By Rev. Chris Eaton, Death Doula & Spiritual Advisor
The Moment That Changed Everything
There’s a moment in every human life when the illusion of control slips through our fingers.
For some, it’s the loss of someone they love.
For others, it’s the slow unraveling of identity, purpose, or health.
For me, it was the day I realized I wasn’t truly living. I had spent decades running…performing, achieving, serving, and surviving, until the day I nearly ended it all.
That dark moment became my initiation, the death of who I thought I was and the birth of who I was meant to become.
Today, I walk with the dying, and through them, I’ve learned the most profound truth of all: you don’t have to wait for death or tragedy to wake up.
You can begin now.
What Death Taught Me About Life
As a Death Doula, I sit beside those preparing to leave this world.
I’ve seen fear dissolve into grace, silence deepen into love, and regret transform into forgiveness.
Each person teaches me the same lesson in their own way: life was never meant to be endured; it was meant to be embodied.
When we stop believing our happiness lies in our memories or in our future goals but rather see that true peace and joy lie in the NOW, then we begin to see the beauty in everyday life.
A sip of tea. A shared laugh. The sound of rain.
These moments reveal a quiet truth: peace isn’t found by escaping life’s endings, but by embracing them.
Peace begins where resistance ends.
Harmony begins where separation dissolves.
Joy begins where gratitude takes root.
Living Before Dying
Most people fear death because they haven’t yet learned how to live.
They confuse existence with aliveness, comfort with peace, motion with meaning.
But the dying remind us daily: there’s a difference between breathing and being awake.
Each breath is an invitation to return to presence, to love, to the unrepeatable gift of this very moment.
When we remember that time is limited, life becomes luminous.
We begin to speak more kindly, forgive more easily, and serve more freely.
That is the ripple effect of PHJ Way: inner awakening becomes outer transformation.
Reflection
When we make peace with death, we stop fearing life. Every ending becomes an opening. Every goodbye, an awakening. And in that sacred stillness between breaths, we remember:
Life is not measured by how long we live, but by how awake we are while living it.
Invitation
Tonight, before you sleep, close your eyes and imagine that this day was your last.
What would you celebrate? What would you release? Whom would you call to say “thank you” or “I love you”? Then…wake up tomorrow and live that way.
“Don’t wait for death or tragedy to wake you up.
You don’t have to hit rock bottom to start rising.
You were born for more than just surviving…
…you were born to live, fully and freely, in peace, harmony, and joy.”
By Rev. Chris Eaton, Death Doula & Spiritual Advisor